Today I reached day 54/60 of Insanity and I am feeling stronger than ever and I love my body. As you can see on the first picture that was taken 18 months ago I went to a major transformation.
Let me take you back to the period that lead to gaining about 25 kg in 2011-2013. I had quit smoking, I went through a break up, my parents went through a dramatic divorce after 40 years of marriage. All these traumatic experiences made me disconnect from my body. It was just too much to handle on an emotional level. I went into survival mode and my body almost shut down. My hormone levels went off, my metabolism slowed down exponentially and I had developed lactose intolerance. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin and I wanted to hide myself. I felt trapped in my body. I focussed on my work and worked very hard and had my highest turnover ever.
Something had to change and I tried every diet, went on a detox holiday to Turkey, did bioresonance therapy and craniosacral therapy.
The craniosacral therapy helped me in connecting with my body and was quite a revelation. It helps you to connect with the emotions that are stuck in your body, the emotional bruises. For instance, I found out that in my subconscious mind I had ‘an oyster’ in my stomach area where I put every uncomfortable feeling, fear, rejection, disagreements etc. Through this therapy I managed to dismantle this ‘oyster’. This was a quite scary thing to do. After that I had nowhere to put those negative emotions and I had no choice but to feel them, accept and express them. That was quite liberating for me. I also realised that I had this belief that if I would make myself fat and ugly no men would be attracted to me. This was definitely not the case and having DD cup boobs was a great asset! I realised that by connecting my mind with my body I bridged the gap in turning the situation around. There is also a spiritual principle that the body follows the mind that is true.
In September 2013 I was ready. To get kick-started I joined Motivate (Paul Harrison) for the first 3 months and started receiving motivational daily texts related to a healthy life style, I used an app to monitor my calories intake, I made healthier choices in my food, started doing daily fitness workouts by Jillian Michaels at home, started running besides going to my yoga classes and later on boxing. I love variety so I made everything I did as pleasurable as possible, nice music, nice outfits. No diets, just a healthy life style. I enjoyed my early morning workouts. You start with discipline and later on it becomes a ritual and a part of who you are. I was losing weight and still enjoying the fine dining and occasional glass of wine.
Moreover, I became radically selfish, putting myself and my needs first; checking in with myself regularly about what I need, what gives me energy etc. I set healthy boundaries. My energy levels increased by the day together with my self-love, self-confidence, determination and creativity. Also it brought more clarity on how I wanted to expand my coaching business.
If I wanted to really help people to feel better about themselves, I had to walk my talk. And I knew I had to go out there and share my message on stages and I wanted to feel strong with a toned body to do that. I feel great now and this experience has only helped me in becoming a better person and a better coach. And there is so much more coming, believe me. I love what I do and it brings me into flow, very rewarding and I am grateful. I feel very liberated and uninhibited. It is ok that my approach will not speak to some and that is fine. It just means that we are not on the same vibration. The right clients will find their way.
What I learned most is that a strong body creates a strong mind. They go together. So I always advise my clients to start moving if they are not already doing so and to create a healthy life style. Also, I work a lot by connecting with the subconscious mind through visualisations or NLP techniques. Body&Mind go together.
With love, Jackie
6 March 2015
